Enjoy the time you have left

I know. And I am! I'm trying to, at least. And I am. ...but not in ways that I don't normally enjoy my time here.

Every day is potentially rife with frustration. Bibata doesn't understand why I let Tel borrow my bike to run an errand but I won't let her take it to go halfway into town (I'm getting ready to use my bike myself...and besides, Tel went out to get bread for me and she also gets me water now and then). One of my favorite kid's obnoxious father is beckoning for me to come over to where he is drunkenly not working to support his family under a hangar, and I have to pretend I don't hear him. And no, you idiot fools on the backroads behind Mont Blanc, I am not Talata...she hasn't been here for two years, which goes to show that yeah, you and her really had a solid connection if you don't know that, and by the way, not all white people are the same.

I'm not going to pretend that these things no longer get under my skin, especially when it's approaching high noon and the rain has not come and I'm sweating litres of sweat over whatever it is I am doing and I was woken up at 5am by a rooster who wandered over to my bed and there's no breeze and I haven't had lunch yet. But I am going to continue to see the value in the things that I love.

I love spending time with the nuns at my school and being able to help them out with the work they are doing, whether it's typing tests for Sister Françoise, my principal; helping to translate a grant application into English (and make it sound really super good) for Sister Charlotte, who is trying to get a dining hall built on campus; or being a sounding board for Sister Elisabeth, who lets me follow her around and just talks with me about so many things (including what a dolt the above mentioned drunk and not-working father is).

I also love spending time with my cuisinaire girls, with whom I am always comfortable, who call me tantie or karensamba or Molly, all things I love hearing myself called.

I also love life discussions with Thomas, when we happen to find ourselves somewhere peaceful in town and our conversation happens to build and build and when we talk in tangents and circles and zig zags and whirls.

And I love Claudia, being a part of her life, being welcome in her courtyard even if it's been a while since the last time I visited. And I love Andréa, who always comes over to say good morning, who busts Thomas's ass for not visiting her, who laughs with her whole entire body a hundred times a day.

I don't always love the extent to which the joke animosity between me and Rond Point Tantie sometimes escalates, but I love that I have a place there, and that she's tactful enough to take things down a notch when she sees I'm getting bothered.

I love that even when the power was out and the internet was down, I was able to take out my monthly allowance at the post office here because the guys know me and like me and didn't want me to have to bike into town again.

I love sleeping outside and waking up to the slowly lightening sky.



I'm going to climb my birthday mountain again. I'm going to see my best PCV friends before they leave the country. I'm going to write math problems on my metal door in chalk so that my band of little girls can impress me with their skills. I'm going to take cool bucket baths in the middle of the day. I'm not going to go out of my way to do things I wouldn't do otherwise, just because I am leaving...I'm going to enjoy spending time where and with whom I want to spend it, even though that means I have to put up with the frustrating things too.