It's nice to see a new place. It's been becoming very easy for me to get stuck in my own head lately. The one year mark has come and gone and I've been thinking so much about the past (reflecting on times before Peace Corps, living the past a little too much) and about the future (totally unsure of where I'll be, what I'll be doing, who I'll be with a year from now) that I've sort of come out of the present. I've always known I was going to go to college after high school, and I figured out pretty quickly that I was going to join the Peace Corps after that...I may have even known that in high school as well. So, next up...a big mysterious turn in the road. I guess they all look big and unique and mysterious from this vantage point though. And I do have a bit of a goldfish memory at times...thinking that this thing or this event is huge and new when maybe it's not. Shock and surprise. There are a lot of challenges up ahead, a lot I've got going on. What's next is what's here, what's now.
But it was nice to see a new place and old familiar people. To maybe talk a little too much about what's on my mind and in my heart with one friend, to put into words why speaking Mooré is so important with another friend, to commiserate about having to deal with tiring and annoying comments and suggestions from men on the street with another one.
Arrive back in Ouaga and see my town's name on a bus and smile because I really like it there.
Next Tuesday is my first day as a teacher. Better get prepared...but I don't really know if anything but my first day will prepare me. Only have a few hours of classes each week. I hope I enjoy them. I think that I will.
Gotta find a way to live more calmly, take the pressure off. I'm feeling so un-Burkinabè. Worried, rushed, no time, stressed out that I'm not doing things right, that if I'm somewhere I should be somewhere else. Gotta chill. Just be. I need to find some ways to do that.
Being here can be hard in ways that are kind of unexpected. And when you sit back and think about them, you realize that it's just life, life is what can be hard in ways that are unexpected.
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Molly,
You don't know me, but I am scheduled to leave in a little over a week for Burkina to begin my two years as a PCV. I just wanted to let you know that I've enjoyed reading your blog enormously. It's been so helpful as I try frantically to prepare to leave (your packing list was great!) and calm myself down about the big adventure ahead of me. This post in particular was really nice to read. It seems like it encompasses some of the challenges living over there, but it's also hopeful in that you seem to be remembering to just take a step back and a deep breath, and just go with it :)
I hope I get an opportunity to meet you. A bientot, j'espere!
Kailey
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