So I will, after all, have classes tomorrow. Planned out ones with notes and activities and such. Way to go, Miss Responsibility.
As it turns out, it makes more sense to go do Ouaga errands on Thursday rather than tomorrow. My travel partner will have just returned from an 80k round trip bike ride and might like a day to relax...and if I CAN teach my classes, I should.
Soo...I will.
These next few days are weirdly packed...PCV visits, shopping and Christmas prep, classes, Christmas cooking, Ouaga money retrieval, Christmas...making sure I don't miss any of the holiday throwdown that'll be going on.
Now I must go to the post and then brace myself for the walk home, whereupon I will have to get gallons and gallons of water because I am out.
...& then I will sleep like a baby with my new soft warm blanket. Mmm winter.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Failure is not an option
(From 15 November 2010)
I am sitting in the salle d’informatique with my mixed class of new students, having given them a free day since we had a test last week. After my first four classes this morning I’m feeling kind of lame just sitting here not guiding…the morning kids demanded a lot more attention and help. These guys (gals) (whatever) are content to practice typing or play spider solitaire and they have a combination of smarts, experience, and maturity to be able to figure things out on their own a little more than the younguns do. Also, all of the 5eme students who are normally in the class are not here today because they are calculating grates with their head teacher, so I am left with just seven students.
Tiny!
Sitting here not doing anything teacher-like makes me sort of rethink my initial plan to not have class next week. The 22nd is the last day of classes…and mayhaps one of my only chances to get to Ouaga to sort out some money stuff before going on my all-important vacation at the end of the month. Why introduce brand new stuff the final class before vacation, I asked myself. Isn’t everybody ready to just go home? I figured I just wouldn’t have class, that way kids could get ready to go home and I could go into the big town and run my errands.
Man, that looks kind of bad when written out, especially when you consider that I’m only with these kids for an hour a week each. This is something I would never get away with as a teacher in the States but it is perfectly logical thinking here in Burkina. Obviously the last class means that classes are already over by then. Duh.
But I’ve got some plans for the next trimester, ones that I’m actually going to make work instead of just thinking and talking about. I’ve decided that I want all of my students to have a passing grade in my class. This trimester, about 10 out of about 125 didn’t. This is not abnormal—if anything, it’s an abnormally low number of non-passing kids—and usually students are just expected to work harder and bring their grades up. But I’m going to have an extra class for the students who did not receive passing grades this trimester…not sure yet if I’ll make it mandatory or not. I’m also going to have extra sessions after the first devoir (test) I give to help the students who did not score well on it. I’ll also continue offering review/practice sessions before the devoirs. YOU WILL SUCCEED.
I’ve got another idea, something that I’ve tossed around my own head several times but haven’t really aggressively pursued. Sister Elisabeth has a civics course with each of the four classes, one that often turns into an hour of free time when she is off doing other things (as she is wont to do). I would like to create some discussion topics and goal-building, future-thinking, health-focusing activities to have in my back pocket so I can fill in for her some times when she’s not going to be there. If she gets on board with this idea, it could potentially work out fabulously. She’s not gonna be in class, she gives me a holler, the girls know I’m coming in to lead some stuff with them and then boom, an hour’s passed and life has become a wee bit more empowered.
That’s right. I’m a Girls Education and Empowerment volunteer. That means more than just letting sassy-mouthed Marguerite borrow my bike. Anyone out there want to hold me accountable?
(I just turned around to check on my girls…one of them has written “Bonne Année Miss Molly, I Love You!” in pretty colors in Paint.)
Well, I suppose I should wrap this up and dismiss this class for purely selfish reasons that include wanting to go into town to meet Thomas and his brother for whatever it is we’re going to have. Dinner? Drinks? Polite conversation? Whatever it is I’m looking forward to it because I have yet to meet Thomas’s lil bro and it’ll be, to use one of the most commonly used and drastically oversimplified adjectives in Burkinabè French... intéressant.
I am sitting in the salle d’informatique with my mixed class of new students, having given them a free day since we had a test last week. After my first four classes this morning I’m feeling kind of lame just sitting here not guiding…the morning kids demanded a lot more attention and help. These guys (gals) (whatever) are content to practice typing or play spider solitaire and they have a combination of smarts, experience, and maturity to be able to figure things out on their own a little more than the younguns do. Also, all of the 5eme students who are normally in the class are not here today because they are calculating grates with their head teacher, so I am left with just seven students.
Tiny!
Sitting here not doing anything teacher-like makes me sort of rethink my initial plan to not have class next week. The 22nd is the last day of classes…and mayhaps one of my only chances to get to Ouaga to sort out some money stuff before going on my all-important vacation at the end of the month. Why introduce brand new stuff the final class before vacation, I asked myself. Isn’t everybody ready to just go home? I figured I just wouldn’t have class, that way kids could get ready to go home and I could go into the big town and run my errands.
Man, that looks kind of bad when written out, especially when you consider that I’m only with these kids for an hour a week each. This is something I would never get away with as a teacher in the States but it is perfectly logical thinking here in Burkina. Obviously the last class means that classes are already over by then. Duh.
But I’ve got some plans for the next trimester, ones that I’m actually going to make work instead of just thinking and talking about. I’ve decided that I want all of my students to have a passing grade in my class. This trimester, about 10 out of about 125 didn’t. This is not abnormal—if anything, it’s an abnormally low number of non-passing kids—and usually students are just expected to work harder and bring their grades up. But I’m going to have an extra class for the students who did not receive passing grades this trimester…not sure yet if I’ll make it mandatory or not. I’m also going to have extra sessions after the first devoir (test) I give to help the students who did not score well on it. I’ll also continue offering review/practice sessions before the devoirs. YOU WILL SUCCEED.
I’ve got another idea, something that I’ve tossed around my own head several times but haven’t really aggressively pursued. Sister Elisabeth has a civics course with each of the four classes, one that often turns into an hour of free time when she is off doing other things (as she is wont to do). I would like to create some discussion topics and goal-building, future-thinking, health-focusing activities to have in my back pocket so I can fill in for her some times when she’s not going to be there. If she gets on board with this idea, it could potentially work out fabulously. She’s not gonna be in class, she gives me a holler, the girls know I’m coming in to lead some stuff with them and then boom, an hour’s passed and life has become a wee bit more empowered.
That’s right. I’m a Girls Education and Empowerment volunteer. That means more than just letting sassy-mouthed Marguerite borrow my bike. Anyone out there want to hold me accountable?
(I just turned around to check on my girls…one of them has written “Bonne Année Miss Molly, I Love You!” in pretty colors in Paint.)
Well, I suppose I should wrap this up and dismiss this class for purely selfish reasons that include wanting to go into town to meet Thomas and his brother for whatever it is we’re going to have. Dinner? Drinks? Polite conversation? Whatever it is I’m looking forward to it because I have yet to meet Thomas’s lil bro and it’ll be, to use one of the most commonly used and drastically oversimplified adjectives in Burkinabè French... intéressant.
Monday, December 13, 2010
New Information?
I am frustrated by everything.
...for the sake of an optimistic report on my life and not just a one line complaint, I will go ahead and list a few things that rarely upset me. But I will only do this if you take for a given the first statement of this entry, that I am frustrated by everything.
Some things that rarely frustrate me:
Certain kids in my quartier, such as Constantine and Edwige
...umm....
hm...
Being offered yogurt sometimes when I'm up by the nun house
ummmmm....
Ok I really can't think of anything else at the moment, I'll get back to you later.
...for the sake of an optimistic report on my life and not just a one line complaint, I will go ahead and list a few things that rarely upset me. But I will only do this if you take for a given the first statement of this entry, that I am frustrated by everything.
Some things that rarely frustrate me:
Certain kids in my quartier, such as Constantine and Edwige
...umm....
hm...
Being offered yogurt sometimes when I'm up by the nun house
ummmmm....
Ok I really can't think of anything else at the moment, I'll get back to you later.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
picture post
Today has been a productive, good day.
Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.
The lush green field of yestermonth is becoming bare again!
Goats frolicking on headbutting each other off of my wall.
Dishes drying in the sun.
Thanksgiving feast!
Taking on the key lime pie.
...it got the best of me.
Housecleaning day. Like the rugby batik on the wall?
Dirty, happy sandwich break on a trip to Rambo.
Centre ville Kongoussi, marché to the right.
Prisca and Rose while Rose studies. My little sisters of my village whom I love.C'est fini! Now, as per usual, I will leave the internet café to put some food in my belly. I'm thinking ragu de pomme de terre or frites and salade. With a big ol' Castle to drink.
Darling you’ve got to let me know…Should I stay or should I go?
(27th November)
The regional director of Peace Corps Africa visited my site; while we were talking about my experiences, he sincerely apologized for my service having been used as an experiment. (…Leslie and Rachel, no doubt the same sentiments apply.) A very appropriate, much appreciated apology, I think.
Because, you know, I’m tired. There are a lot of things about being an étranger for two years as you’re putting all of your energy into living, working, understanding and being a good neighbor that are exhausting. I’m doing so well at living, working, being in Lioudougou…think of how much progress I’d have made by now if I had been there from the beginning. I’ve thought many times, before moving down there and since, that this year in many ways will be a first year all over again, and that it might be worth it to stay a third so that I’ll have two in my new community, in the right place.
But this isn’t my first year, and I’m tired.
And I wouldn’t want to just do the little things I’ve been finding to do all over again next year. I’d want someone to work with to actually do things that are wanted and needed, and if I don’t find someone or something, I don’t think I’m going to want to stick around for another twelve months in the hope that I do. I think I’m ready for some professional growth, something challenging in a way that differs from the sort of hurry up and wait, cast your net wide, drop hints all over the place that you’d like to help out with things without ever actually doing anything, put up with sexual harassment challenges that so permeate life for volunteers here. I could GEE the heck out of somewhere. When I got my invitation in the mail, I would have sworn that this program was designed for me. What did I do in the five years before the Peace Corps that wasn’t Girls’ Education and Empowerment? As it turns out, I was put somewhere where, frankly, my presence wasn’t requested. I was plopped into a place where there wasn’t any community knowledge of or support of my program and told by my half of the equation (i.e., the Peace Corps, and not Kongoussi / Lioudougou), “Ok, go be a GEE volunteer now. Figure it out.”
But what is the role of the outsider in development? What is my role here? I have not ever been down with forcing my ideas on how things should work here, and why should I be? I’m a 24 year old girl, really. No more than a few months’ experience at any one time doing any sort of important work. A (very interesting and appropriate, but) highly theoretical degree (not that the degree itself is theoretical…or so I’ve been assured) from a liberal arts school doesn’t really stand on its own; what it’s done is lead me to this, my first real work slash life experience where I am forced to apply some of the thinking I’ve done. And I think that’s going to end up being a lot of what I get out of this.
If you divorce the Peace Corps from the Peace Corps, it’s pretty alright. I like my town, I like my community, I like living here. I’m figuring out things I can do to help. These days I’m conscious of the kind of citizen I am in my town, inspired by the insights of a PCV neighbor (neighbor!) of mine. Having the chance to live next door to people on the other side of the world who you would otherwise not have the chance to know is something truly amazing. But connecting back to the bureau is stressing me out recently, and I think this is due in large part to the fact that I feel like a nebulous volunteer, someone without a real program for whom none of the objectives and official bureau support has ever really applied. I’ve searched for ways to be involved and things that I could do to help my neighbors and my community, but not necessarily alongside anyone or towards any specific goals. The things that I’ve found to do that are wanted and asked for are things that I’ve had to make up as I go along. Not the way I wanted to do this, really, but you have to work with what you’ve got.
The Peace Corps is a good program for young idealists who are in-tuned enough to know that idealism isn’t enough, who want an important and fulfilling niche in the world but who don’t yet have the experience to find it. I wonder if, at the end of my two years here, I’ll have gotten all that I can get out of being a Peace Corps Volunteer in Burkina Faso. Maybe I’ll be ready to move on, to try another way of living somewhere, to put more tools in my belt.
It’s amazing how much—and how little—can happen in a span of nine months…so who knows.
I read a very good book recently, The Blue Sweater by Jacquiline Novogratz, that’s allowed me to start to articulate a lot of the feelings that I’m having about my time here, and what it means to be effective, and what I want to do with my life. She showed up for her first job in Africa pretty unprepared and learned a lot of important lessons sort of at the expense of herself…not really a bad thing in the long term, but not such a fun feeling in the present. She relates a lot of the advice and guidance she was given along her way, and a lot of it is the sort of advice and guidance I’m starting to seek. After living and working in Africa for a while, deciding what to do next and not being completely ready to leave (even though she’s exhausted by the contradictions and difficulties of pretty much every day of her life), she’s told by someone insightful and smart that being connected to your own home, your own community or culture, can help you in connecting to the wider world. …and I can see that, after over a year of living in Burkina. No matter how much effort and energy I put into living and integrating into my village here, it will never be my home. I can navigate through the culture here (exceptionally well, on a good day), but it isn’t my culture and it’s never 100 percent comfortable. And these are all things to accept if living and working in different parts of the world is what you want to do.
I feel stuck somewhere, in my brain, and I want to break through to some new degree of understanding about myself and about the world that I know is there on the other side. It’s like a heavy fog is obscuring something, and I’ve made progress towards it with books, with discussions, with living here…but nothing’s been quite enough.
The regional director of Peace Corps Africa visited my site; while we were talking about my experiences, he sincerely apologized for my service having been used as an experiment. (…Leslie and Rachel, no doubt the same sentiments apply.) A very appropriate, much appreciated apology, I think.
Because, you know, I’m tired. There are a lot of things about being an étranger for two years as you’re putting all of your energy into living, working, understanding and being a good neighbor that are exhausting. I’m doing so well at living, working, being in Lioudougou…think of how much progress I’d have made by now if I had been there from the beginning. I’ve thought many times, before moving down there and since, that this year in many ways will be a first year all over again, and that it might be worth it to stay a third so that I’ll have two in my new community, in the right place.
But this isn’t my first year, and I’m tired.
And I wouldn’t want to just do the little things I’ve been finding to do all over again next year. I’d want someone to work with to actually do things that are wanted and needed, and if I don’t find someone or something, I don’t think I’m going to want to stick around for another twelve months in the hope that I do. I think I’m ready for some professional growth, something challenging in a way that differs from the sort of hurry up and wait, cast your net wide, drop hints all over the place that you’d like to help out with things without ever actually doing anything, put up with sexual harassment challenges that so permeate life for volunteers here. I could GEE the heck out of somewhere. When I got my invitation in the mail, I would have sworn that this program was designed for me. What did I do in the five years before the Peace Corps that wasn’t Girls’ Education and Empowerment? As it turns out, I was put somewhere where, frankly, my presence wasn’t requested. I was plopped into a place where there wasn’t any community knowledge of or support of my program and told by my half of the equation (i.e., the Peace Corps, and not Kongoussi / Lioudougou), “Ok, go be a GEE volunteer now. Figure it out.”
But what is the role of the outsider in development? What is my role here? I have not ever been down with forcing my ideas on how things should work here, and why should I be? I’m a 24 year old girl, really. No more than a few months’ experience at any one time doing any sort of important work. A (very interesting and appropriate, but) highly theoretical degree (not that the degree itself is theoretical…or so I’ve been assured) from a liberal arts school doesn’t really stand on its own; what it’s done is lead me to this, my first real work slash life experience where I am forced to apply some of the thinking I’ve done. And I think that’s going to end up being a lot of what I get out of this.
If you divorce the Peace Corps from the Peace Corps, it’s pretty alright. I like my town, I like my community, I like living here. I’m figuring out things I can do to help. These days I’m conscious of the kind of citizen I am in my town, inspired by the insights of a PCV neighbor (neighbor!) of mine. Having the chance to live next door to people on the other side of the world who you would otherwise not have the chance to know is something truly amazing. But connecting back to the bureau is stressing me out recently, and I think this is due in large part to the fact that I feel like a nebulous volunteer, someone without a real program for whom none of the objectives and official bureau support has ever really applied. I’ve searched for ways to be involved and things that I could do to help my neighbors and my community, but not necessarily alongside anyone or towards any specific goals. The things that I’ve found to do that are wanted and asked for are things that I’ve had to make up as I go along. Not the way I wanted to do this, really, but you have to work with what you’ve got.
The Peace Corps is a good program for young idealists who are in-tuned enough to know that idealism isn’t enough, who want an important and fulfilling niche in the world but who don’t yet have the experience to find it. I wonder if, at the end of my two years here, I’ll have gotten all that I can get out of being a Peace Corps Volunteer in Burkina Faso. Maybe I’ll be ready to move on, to try another way of living somewhere, to put more tools in my belt.
It’s amazing how much—and how little—can happen in a span of nine months…so who knows.
I read a very good book recently, The Blue Sweater by Jacquiline Novogratz, that’s allowed me to start to articulate a lot of the feelings that I’m having about my time here, and what it means to be effective, and what I want to do with my life. She showed up for her first job in Africa pretty unprepared and learned a lot of important lessons sort of at the expense of herself…not really a bad thing in the long term, but not such a fun feeling in the present. She relates a lot of the advice and guidance she was given along her way, and a lot of it is the sort of advice and guidance I’m starting to seek. After living and working in Africa for a while, deciding what to do next and not being completely ready to leave (even though she’s exhausted by the contradictions and difficulties of pretty much every day of her life), she’s told by someone insightful and smart that being connected to your own home, your own community or culture, can help you in connecting to the wider world. …and I can see that, after over a year of living in Burkina. No matter how much effort and energy I put into living and integrating into my village here, it will never be my home. I can navigate through the culture here (exceptionally well, on a good day), but it isn’t my culture and it’s never 100 percent comfortable. And these are all things to accept if living and working in different parts of the world is what you want to do.
I feel stuck somewhere, in my brain, and I want to break through to some new degree of understanding about myself and about the world that I know is there on the other side. It’s like a heavy fog is obscuring something, and I’ve made progress towards it with books, with discussions, with living here…but nothing’s been quite enough.
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