I don't want to go to English club in Kongoussi today for several reasons, one of which is that it's just so far to get there...and I know that really it's not THAT far...but it IS kind of far, and the journey will be vastly prolonged by the number of times that I will inevitably stop to chat with people on the side of the road, no matter which road I take. And I do have stuff I need to do on my little to do list here, including work for Soeur Francoise. ...but...I know I won't be going next week because I'll be in Ouaga. And I enjoy seeing a few of the people that I see there. And having in-town connections is nice. And I can go to the post office and pick up my two packages, which will be good. Ok Molly. Just go. Tell Soeur Francoise that you'll be back at 18h and you'll do the work then. And voila. But do it now so you can get to the post office before English club starts.
---five and a half hours later---
...too bad I didn't bother knowing that the post office doesn't reopen in the evenings on Saturdays like it does during the week. I feel like this is something I should have known. So...a big part of the reason I convinced myself to go into town didn't even pan out. But you know, that's ok. And even though English club was boring and I myself would never choose to be in a club like that, that's ok. I chatted with Marc and Tal and was present and pointed out a grammar rule and it wasn't so bad. And I bought a bunch of cards in town to send to my fam for Christmas. So there. And I also bought a bit of food for Ono and for myself and I chatted a bit with some marche folks and with a couple of my girls on the way in...so it was nice, really.
Got a bit of work stuff I could do tonight, and I will...I might take a shower bath thing first but I have to heat up water I just remembered and even though I'm sweaty and dirty and a little smelly I really don't want to. I know I'll feel a lot better afterwards...but rahhh...and if I go into the kitchen to heat water I'll remind myself that I should eat and that's a big effort too.
Oh yeah, I bought sardines so that I could feed the effing cats that seem to think I am interested in taking care of them. Sister Elisabeth arranged to have them brought here so they could catch and kill mice, but they seem more interested in whining constantly and hovering around my feet and my door expecting food. It is only because I don't want to be responsible for their deaths that I am occasionally feeding them, even though it's reinforcing their bad habit of slinking around my abode. I really want them to learn to get the heck away from me to find food, as is supposed to be their job. ...but they were raised by a nurturing nasara who I suppose I resemble in the same way that I resemble any nasara, and my house is away from the dogs and animals that populate the other side of the foyer...those two conditions make me appealing, I guess, though I know that after a couple of days of neglect I personally would look for other solutions. But dammit...now they're gonna keep coming back here. I alerted Sis Elisabeth as well as the cuisinaire girls about this problem so that they could feed the things, especially while I'm away all next week, otherwise they probably will die, because I don't know if they could figure out how to fend for themselves. Hopefully I am giving them too little credit and they really will be able to survive...without relying on me.
...because I really don't have the means to feed a pet. I don't have a constant source of food here, and the food I do have is normally stuff dogs and cats don't seem to want to eat. Couscous or pasta with vegetables or sauce of some sort. Nose in the air. I very often eat over with my kitchen friends anyway and thus don't bother preparing anyhow, and even if I did I can't just walk five minutes and buy benga or samsa or anything really to make for them. I also don't have a regular schedule. I'm not always here and it's not always predictable. Really the point is I just am not in a place right now where I can be responsible for anyone's life but my own. I often laugh inside during the routine "do you have a husband? No? You don't want a husband? What about children? Silly nasara! May god send you a husband and children!" conversations that I have when I think about kids, and how having a kid means having a kid FOREVER, and taking care of it EVERY DAY FOR YEARS. Holy committment that I do not want.
...and you know, this isn't to belittle or dismiss the value that is placed on looking for a husband and children here. Family ties are extremely important, being able to have a husband or a wife here is valued the way that supporting yourself independently is valued in the states. As well as I try to and like to think that I DO fit in here in my lil community, I am one heck of an American girl. I've known this about me though...having dated a Canadian, I've had many of my American qualities and characteristics pointed out to me. Mostly with smiles. :)
La la la lalaa La la la lalaa La la la lalaa...
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